Pride...

Looking at Luke chapter 9:23 “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me”
 
            The pure truth is so simple and easy to understand; yet as humans and as sinners, our life is the hardest thing to give up. We are so self-preoccupied with worldly things that we build a wall of pride around ourselves; which doesn’t let self-denial in.

            Once we finally figure out that Satan is the one who actually built the wall, we have usually given ourselves to the Lord, but still try to break the wall down by our self. Which is where scripture comes back into the picture. “Deny our self, take up the cross, and follow Me.” Then we get the picture, we can’t do it ourselves, and so we ask and confide in Jesus to break the wall down for us. And in doing so we look to the goodness that will come out of getting rid of pride; which is being able to deny one self. But after all this happens you realize that by asking the Lord to help you (so you can indulge in self-denial) you already denied yourself by realizing you can’t break the wall.

            The sovereignty of God is so awesome and so loving and so respectful that it never condemns. And when you feel that truth, life definitely has meaning and purpose.

Part Three . . . And beyond

Well, this is the third part of my trilogy story. (ha ha) I say three parts because it seems as though my salvation has worked out in three parts(but I'm sure God sees it as one). It's just easier for me to describe what the Lord has done in me as stages. Okay, so I'll start calling them stages for now on.

So, for those of you who know me, you probably remember when I worked in a pharmacy as a licensed technician. I worked in pharmacy for almost 10 years, and the stress just seemed to be piling up on me over the years. I really loved what I was doing and I felt that I was making a difference in this world (little did I know that only God can make a difference, we can only be obedient to his word.) So as the stress kept getting worse,the devil used it in me to give it to others; mainly my co-workers. I felt really bad with myself because I didn't want to treat others that way; it just seemed to happen without me realizing it. And when I did realize it I felt extremely condemned. It finally got to the point where my boss was having a hard time dealing with me, so she asked me to take a vacation and figure out what I was going to do. She said I need to stop all I was doing (my take of it was to stop being evil to people around me) and change the way I was. She also said that if I need to quit and get out of the profession she would understand.

Man I'll tell you, quitting was the last thing I wanted to do, but during my vacation I prayed and prayed for help but it never was real clear to me what to do. So the week flew by and my first day back at work didn't go any better than before. At the end of the day my boss and I sat down and she asked me if I had figured out what I was going to do (which I still hadn't made up my mind). I remember praying to Jesus and something inside of me completely let go. I looked her in the eyes and said "It's time for me to move on." .... What a shock to the both of us, especially me. Afterwards I realized that the feeling I had was me completely letting go of self. At that moment I gave my life completely to Jesus, and he did what was best for me.

Even though I miss the pharmacy a lot, I don't regret quitting one bit. The Lord has taken me on this incredible journey and has showed me and taught me things that just leave me speechless and in awe. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with his joy and agape that I just break down in tears.


Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for you saving me and making me complete in Christ Jesus, your son. I know, because of Him, I am made holy and perfect in your sight. In Jesus precious name, Amen

Part Two

So, the second part of my story happened several months after I started fellowshipping with Matthewshouse. I remember really enjoying Thursday nights (that's when our group meets). Not absolutely sure why; just knowing that I always looked foward to that night. (In retrospect, I know it was the love of God, Agape love that is) So one day while I was at work (in a pharmacy) I was getting real agitated with everything; like I always did. I remember that it was cloudy all week long and this day was the same. Then the phone rang and since nobody answered it I figured I better (but whenever that happened I used to always get angry). I found myself in the front lobby checking on something for the patient and when I hung the phone up I did it with force. Then as I turned and looked out the front windows, the clouds seperated barely, right where the sun was located in the sky. And it seemed the clouds opened up just enough so only the sun could poke through, and even though we had tinted windows, it was so bright it blinded me. I got this feeling in my body that to this day I still can't explain. About ten minutes later I realized that it was God. At that time it was like his love blanketed me and I wanted to go and hug everybody that I was working with.

At that moment I knew that God WAS real and my relationship with Jesus had begun. Now I look back at that day and know that God had been trying to get my attention for many years but he also knew that that was the day that I would change and relize that he does exist. He also knew just exactly how to get my attention.


My dear Lord Jesus, I come to you now to be restored in you--to renew my place in you, my allegiance to you, and to receive from you all the grace and mercy I so desperately need this day. I honor you as my sovereign Lord, and I serrender every aspect of my life totally and completely to you. I give you my body as a living sacrifice; I give you my heart, soul mind and strength; and I give you my spirit as well. Amen
prayer arranged by John Eldredge

From the beginning

Well, my friend Kevin started this blog for me(thanks Kev), and I really like the title...Eric's Life Story. I think I'll keep it; so now I'm gonna have to tell you my life story.


The first 27 years isn't too much to talk about. It's your average sinner sort of material...Thinking that there was no God and if there was, it was me. So I pretty much partied, drank and did some drugs. Like I said, not too much to talk about.

Then one day one of my friends was trying to find something in his life so that he could change. He didn't know what he was looking for but he did know he needed something. I didn't know what he needed either and just thought that anything to HELP him would be great. But as he was telling me this my brother was around at the time (in fact, we were at my brothers house in his garage talking) So my brother invited him to come check out this house church that he attends (which was held at his house at the time). Well, my friend was a little reluctant in doing so so I told him that if he went I would go with him. He said okay and I havn't stopped fellowshiping with Matthews house since.
To be continued........