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it's like taking Gumby to Death Valley.


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Jamie Fox has done it again; he has complemented last years "Ray" and "Collateral" with the new movie, "Stealth". There hasn't been an actor since maybe Tom Hanks that has the ability to start an Oscar streak so profound, so enthralling, so prosaic. You see, come next spring as the frost melts and the snowbirds head home, one fatefull morning we will all wake to what is likely to become the mundane -- another Oscar nod for Mr. Fox. And after all have seen this movie, we'll just nod our appreciation for someone so obviously in his prime. When you think about it, we are the lucky ones. Mr. Fox has the pick of the litter; and my dear friends, we will truly reap the rewards of his prophetic choices and daring attempts at studio resuscitation. We'll have the opportunity to watch him, again, become the token black guy while brilliantly delievering clever lines such as, "three is a prime number, and four is just unlucky," or "sometimes women need to bow down," before his very hyper-sonic jet (of which he is one of only three pilots qualified to fly) slams into the obligatory jet movie valley wall. But what makes this scene so emotional is the fact that his wing[wo]man was telling him he was too close, he just didn't listen. "You're too close, you're too close!!" I don't have any friends in the Navy that are flyboys (i think that's what they call them), but you can be rest assured that if "Stealth" inserted that line in the movie then it's authentic. I mean, can't you just picture the most qualified fighter-pilots in the world yelling, "Cut left. Go Faster!! Higher, higher. SHOOOOOTT!!" -- "Listen cap., I told him to shoot, and then go faster, hyper-faster, but he just didn't listen." -- "That's ok mav, let's go get some chicks in our milky white Navy suits. You look like you've lost that loving feeling."

But you see for me, I haven't. After his performance in "Collateral", I fell in love. And watching "Stealth", if only for a brief momment, made me feel like a flyboy. It was as if I personally wrapped myself in the Navy's pasty whites, walked into some vibe off base bar, full of the finest women and got lucky -- panties in the bathroom, or in front of some coin-op lucky. One night with Jamie Fox and "Stealth" and you too will walk away, cigarette dangling from your mouth, with that post coitus smile. Just take the action of an abridged version of "Top Gun", the emotional levity of "Hot Shots: Part Duex" and stir in the acting ability of a heat soaked Gumby, and you get yourself this summers covert hit, "Stealth".


4 Responses to “it's like taking Gumby to Death Valley.”

  1. Thomas Ham 

    i can't believe you liked that!

    *stands appalled*

  2. joel 

    HAM!!!

    Wow, this is a pleasant surprise. However, your ability to discern sarcasim from true adoration is quite bleak. You see, well, Gumby is claymation; and as we all know, clay hardens in the heat disallowing a truly agile Gumby. You see!!

    Now reread it and you will see my true love for the film.

  3. Thomas Ham 

    i hardly read it. i stopped when i saw "Jamie Fox has done it again; he has complemented last years "Ray" and "Collateral" with the new movie, "Stealth"."

    my bad! on another note, the united states of leland was great, wedding crashers was hilarious, punch drunk love is once again in my midst and a very long engagement was very entertaining through the very long film.

    when you come out tell me so we can get a beer!

  4. joqn52nfde 

    This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  • I'm joel
  • From Boston, Massachusetts, US
  • ---this area chronicles the impact of art, literature, and socio-politcal narratives that cause me to think critically while fully comprehending my ability to embrace the grace in being dead wrong.
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