Road Blocks

As I sit here in serene moonlight, I'm agonizing about my day. I'm trying feverishly to get the required classes so that perhaps I can transfer to UCI for a second BA, this time in philosophy. But I discovered that I have to take English 100 again because the college where I first took it back in 83 is not properly accredited. And that means I have to take the English placement test. And after I completed that, I discovered that all of the local community college English classes are "closed."

What, Lord? Why the road blocks? Am I pursuing something so unpleasing?

After years of trying to get into grad school, studying for the GRE, doing writing samples, and only hearing negative results; I'm starting to wear down. I almost lost it earlier this year when I discovered that even Biola didn't accept me into its graduate philosophy program.

I laugh when I think about it. I'm 41 and a freshman at a Junior College and can't get an English 100 class. After the laughter I feel disappointment.

So, does God use roadblocks? In the past years I had come to the understanding that God wasn't so concerned about the career path, but rather about my daily path of living in His Kingdom: under His reign. And after much prayer I had surmised that I was indeed moving in a direction that He was okay with as long as I was daily under His rule. Now, with all of the road blocks, I'm not so certain.

If this isn't a good path for me, what shall I do? Please speak to me. Tell me with your words. I'm trying to listen.