Today we celebrated Memorial Day at a pool party at Cary & Wendy's. It was relaxing and fun. But I must say that the most exciting part of my weekend was to watch Nathan read a 100 page book from cover to cover because we put "reading" on the star chart. Wow. I hope he keeps it up. Positive reward seems to be the best motivator.

I came across a word today and was interested in its full definition. Impeccable means "not liable to sin; exempt from the possibility of doing wrong." I had been considering this term in a sub title for Horton Construction - impeccable builders. Then I realized that a title like that might set up the company for failure.

So far, in my experience, I think it is unlikely that anyone but God could be completely impeccable. Which leads me to the question, where would we be able to use the word impeccable in daily language? Is impeccability subjective or objective? Could someone be impeccable in math? Logic? Science? Language? Perhaps it would be possible in that moment in time, verified by all existing knowledge on the subject, and only to those evaluators. But would it be impeccable to those of the past or those of the future? Could impeccability stand the test of time?

I myself have not been impeccable. I have sinned and done wrong. But for the grace of God...

Shakespeare said it, "to be or not to be; that is the question."

Two friends and I were sitting together this morning discussing the meaning of the Greek verb "metamorphousthe" (english transliteration). The root "metamorpho" means to transform or transfigure, and the ending means in essence "you all, receive this (verb) and be it." As I pondered on it for a moment, I was struck by the question, how is one "to receive being transformed?" Doesn't transformation require action in order to prove that one has changed? Can inaction be action?

As I thought about it I realized that my concept of transformation is directly tied to some type of activity. Do, do, do. Show that you've changed. By all means don't just sit there. Work hard. Play hard. Just do it.

So, how is it possible to be transformed? Or even just to be? If the definition of be is "to exist in a certian manner", can I "exist" transformed without doing anything?

Then it started to become clear as my friends and I thought about the possibility. The verse was stating that I should not try to think that any transformation was happening by way of my actions, rather I must only receive the changes being done to me and exist in them. Continually receive being transformed. Wow. Thinking about the love of God and the work of Christ in that way truly brings me to a place of humility. My "rightness" is as filthy rags. There is nothing I can do to earn righteousness. My inaction (at this stage) is the best possible action. Nothing to brag about. Nothing to take credit for. The changes were and are being done to me.

It's hard. I'm conditioned to work. Earn a living. Prove myself. But God's plan is different.

To be or not to be...

Change is inevitable. (I'm not sure who gets the credit for being the original author of that phrase.) One can only hope to maneuver through the process without being overwhelmed, crushed, defeated, or depressed. It is a difficult challenge for most. Yet I find myself precariously walking the line between contentment and ambition. So much change has happened in my life that I find it inauthentic to be extreme in any direction. The latest for me is the pursuit of a career in teaching philosophy at the university level. A smile creeps up when I think about it. I wonder how long it will take? Or will I succeed?

Wonderings have become a way of life. Yet in the wonderings I have learned immeasureably more than when I did when I thought I knew it all. However, faith has remained constant. It is stripped down to this premise--there is a God, and He is full of grace.