Is the veil just a hand mirror?

I shared with "the guys" (Matt E., Dave W., & Rick V.O.) an experience I had in the car on the way to work. It was a revelation of sorts that ended with tears running down my cheeks. I was listening to a new CD by Tim Hughes and as the song was playing, God helped me to see that "the veil" that keeps me from seeing the Kingdom of God is not a veil that God randomly opens and closes, but something that I open and close. And the veil is very near to me. I open it by thinking about Jesus, and I close it by thinking about me. As I pictured this reality, I could see the veil more like a hand mirror. The kind you use when you want to see the back of your head in the big mirror. When I put the mirror down, and forget about myself, I start to see the beauty of his Kingdom. Nature is beautiful. People are precious. Problems are smaller, and God is bigger. It was an awesome experience.

The puzzling part for me now is understanding wheter He opens it, or I open it. I'm pretty sure that the closing of the veil is done by me. I take my own eyes off of Jesus - holding the mirror back up, looking at myself. But do I open the veil? I know that He opened it originally. But could I initiate the re-opening of the veil? Do I have the capacity to put the mirror down and stop looking at myself? Probably not on my own will. It's probably the Spirit working in me.

Still wondering. But loving Jesus. And seeking His Kingdom.